Idle Ramblings

How Ms. Pac-Man took my manhood

In my quest to bring those things that come with being in a relationship - romance, friendship, companionship and, yes, sex - back into my life, I can't say that I've been completely successful. Of course, I can't say I've really had my heart completely in it, but, that's for a different blog entry.

Since I don't have the romance, companionship, friendship and, especially the sex, at this time, I decided I needed to do something that would make me feel better about myself as a man. Some way I could prove my prowess. Something that would let me prove to myself that I was still viable and desirable as a male of the species. I needed to be something I was good at to boost my ego. I already have a new guitar and bass, so that was out. I've got a new computer, so there's another no. I'm not into cars, so no flashy new sports car. So, I decided there was only one thing left.

Video games.

You know those video game systems you can find nowadays? The ones that have half a dozen or so classic video games programed into the joystick controller? I decided to get one of those. And not just any one, the Ms. Pac-Man set since it had my two favorite games Ms. Pac-Man and Galaga. What better way to boost my ego and prove to myself that I was still a virile young man (I've decided to move middle age off to 50 since I'm about to turn 40). So, I grabbed my joystick, er, the joystick and began playing.

I spent many hours and many quarters in my youth perfecting my Ms. Pac-Man and Galaga games. I had the highest scores on the machines down at the Quick Stop plenty of times, so I was looking forward to getting my MoJo back.

So, I select Ms Pac-Man. It takes a while to get back into the swing of things, after all, it's been a while - a long, lonely, dry spell. But, I figure once I get started, it will all come back to me and I'll get into the rhythm of things. But, unfortunately, maybe a minute or so later, it was over and I was just sitting there holding my joystick, er, sorry again, I meant THE joystick. I was embarrassed. This had never happened to me before. I mean, it was over too quick. I guess it had just been so long....

Well, I figured the next time it would be better. So, once I was up to it again, I go back to her and try again. I'm eager now, and want to prove that the previous time was a one-time thing, but, it happens again and it's over before I know it.

At this point, I'm not feeling so good. I feel like she's just sitting there, laughing at me. I used to be able to make it last for so much longer. Hours, just going on and on with the excitement and the thrill of feeling like I was accomplishing something. But, I was beginning to feel like I'd lost the touch. And, now, every time I saw her, I just got nervous, feeling like I needed to try to do better. But, in the end, it's been over quick and very unsatisfying.

So, have your fun Ms. Pac-Man. Just keep laughing at me. I'll be back with a vengeance one day soon and we'll go all night long. Just get rested up.

Meanwhile, I've switched to Galaga. At least with it, I get to blow crap up.

posted by Joseph @ 2/26/2007 12:57:00 AM