Idle Ramblings

Another year in review

Okay, I haven't gotten the whole "year in review" thing left over from my old newspaper days out of my system yet, so here's another Year in Review.



72,237 BCE



Jan. - Extreme cold over the Northern Hemisphere creates a shortage of sabertooth tiger skins for clothing. Though sabertooth bear, sabertooh woolf and sabertooth rabbit skins are plentiful, Grug, a cleaver neanderthal, uses the primative beginnings of clever marketing to make the sabertooth tiger skin the "in" thing for the year.



Feb. - Medium size asteroid hits somehere in the mid western U.S. No great environmental impact, however, rock contained an alien being in suspended animation which would wreck havock some 74,242 years later when discovered by some guy who likes to dig holes in his backyard.



April-May - Mhruug, a cunning caveman, decides to take control of his clan by convincing them to go to war with neighboring tribes. He profits by selling sticks, rocks and fire to all sides involved. In an ironic turn, his lineage can be traced directly down to Dick Chaney.



Aug. - Glug, the shaman of the nobby hill people, creates a small hollow log that fits in the palm of your hand, along with am elk bone with a small, round rock attached on the end with cured aardvark skin, used to beat on the log rhythmically. He calls it the iRoc and makes a fortune in skins, bone and shiny rocks.



Sept. - The first professional sports team plays its first game. The game, "roll the large boulder down the hill onto the other team," was called after the first half because the Grassy Knoll Clan ran out of cave people. The Flailing Elk Clan won by default. It was the only game on record ever played.



December - The first, and only, fruitcake was created.

posted by Joseph @ 12/31/2004 03:45:00 PM